The Friend Zone

I like LZ’s guy friends much better than I like my girlfriends’ guy friends. I wonder why that is. I told LZ tt it’s probably because I know my girlfriends for much much longer (say since > 10 years ago), so I am that much closer to them. When they bring their +1’s along to meet me, the conversation is more often than not really constrained because I can’t talk to them with the same intimacy when there’s an outsider. Most of their husbands/boyfriends are still obviously outsiders. Even if there is no sensitive information being traded, you don’t want to exclude them too much by talking about things they do not know about :S

Whereas with LZ’s guy friends, -I- am the intruder, I try to make the relationships as intimate as possible in the shortest amount of time by doing unglam things or just being generally familiar without being too irritating. I don’t mind if they talk about their army stuff (as long as it’s not too boring) and I don’t mind them being all weird and excited about their silly tree game. They also don’t mind being unglam in front of me (I am treated more like a boy than a girl, I guess?), perhaps boys just have thicker skin and don’t embarrass that easily. Just the other day one of his guy friends let me put a bubble clay face mask on him just for kicks :o

I don’t think their conversation is super constrained just because I am around, and he and his guy friends go way back too. In fact I think I manage to cover more ground with his guy friends than he does, because you know, guys like him, they can spend a humongous amount of time together without ever talking about anything very “important”. Like they may not know how the other is doing vis a vis more significant aspects of their lives, but just josh around all day without a need to become closer because talking about (what I consider) “important” things can be really awkward. Me, I am damn kaypoh. I want to know all about their girlfriends, their dating philosophies, their exes, what they are like as a person, what makes them tick, what their interests are, what kinds of people they like or dislike, what kinds of food they like or dislike. I want to know the whole person. I don’t just want to be entertained by their lame jokes. So in the final analysis I sometimes pry way more information out of his guy friends than he ever has done in his life. He is really useless as an informant. If he were in defence no spy would ever want to cultivate him.

And that’s why I like his guy friends much more than I like my girlfriends’ guy friends. My girlfriends’ guy friends (apart from Fabio) invariably look like they just came along out of obligation and would like to get out of the meeting asap, instead of trying to be friends properly.

LZ: “How about my female friends?”
Me: “Who?”
LZ: “Hypothetically speaking.”
lol he really doesn’t have any. Well, he has one, and I do like her too. In fact we have written letters to each other completely sidelining him. I tend to do that with his female friends. Either I have a very magnetic personality or I am unhealthily possessive and grabby. All your friends are belong to me.



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