Two years younger

my favorite math major at cornell got attached.
Sadness!
He was so adorable and so amazing on the violin :(((
This small infidelity on my part is ok because liangze has also found a boyfriend at work :P
At least, a guy he’s been fangirling for ages because he is so good at math. They’ve even gone on a ‘date’ and everything. (except that this guy also requested a ‘date’ with all the other young people in the lab, so it was sadly not exclusive) Liangze likes things to be exclusive cause he was an only child and automatically a bit ronery and out of things. When he was young, he and 5 or 6 of his cousins were playing together at someone’s house and all of them decided to run into a bedroom and lock him out for fun. Because they didn’t let him in, he decided to walk home alone. It’s sad in an oddly hilarious way.

Anyway, I also fangirl this particular kiddo because he’s amazing at math. Like, potentially even better than liangze.
Of course if I were going for a real math genius I would fangirl Ernest, or liangze’s current boyfriend.
However I want someone who is good at math and theologically grounded, which my favourite math major at cornell (and liangze) (and liangze’s boyfriend) both fulfill.
But my favourite math major is not only good at math and theologically grounded, but also super cute! He looks like a young version of Terry Tao all set to be a grown up version of Terry Tao.
At least his girlfriend sounds smart. I would not be able to forgive him if he, like somebody I know, went for a silly but pretty girl.

In retrospect, the somebody-I-know is not as clever as I envisioned him to be, and not because he liked someone silly. We hung out a bit (in a group of friends) this weekend and oh my goodness, I’ll never think highly of him again.

Have you ever met the kind of person who blamed his/her luck on everything else but himself? If you get bad results, it’s because your parents gave you the wrong name, let’s go to a fortune teller to get your name changed to something luckier. If you lose at bridge, it’s because of the card distribution that screwed things up for you. If you’ve been trying to get a girlfriend but haven’t succeeded, it must be because the clothes you wear are not attractive enough and not because you are inherently socially maladjusted and generally unloveable.

I think it’s a very chinese thing to attribute things that happen to you to strokes of fate, to misfortune and luck. Also a totally irresponsible thing. The other day when I was talking to LZ’s dad he mentioned that some people have told him that he was very lucky to have liangze as a son. He was rather irritated at this irresponsible way of looking at things – that liangze is inherently well bred and obedient and trouble-free, therefore his parents are lucky that they ‘zhong4 dao4’ such a good kid. I told him I was rather irritated that when liangze and I got together, some of his friends commented on his change of relationship status on fb “who’s the lucky girl?” I still think he’s the lucky one, and so does he. Lots of people in so-called “successful” relationships are such that both parties feel they are lucky to be with the other one. Perhaps the fact that I think he’s lucky to be with me too is an early indication of failure. Like microcalcification is an early indication of breast cancer. His father thinks that these people are being totally irresponsible about parenting – who your child is is a very large percent due to how you have brought him up. If you child gives you problems in their teenage years, show rebellion, do drugs, etc. probably something was not handled properly in his formative years. His father is adamant that liangze was not an easy child to bring up. On the other hand liangze is the only child he had to bring up, so perhaps if he had another one his perspective might change a bit. But it is rather irresponsible to say that someone is “lucky” to have such a guai child, as if no work at all went into disciplining him into the way he is today. If your child is problematic, it reflects more on your inadequate parenting than anything else. In my case, it’s stupid to assume that whoever gets to be liangze’s girlfriend must be very lucky because he is clever and successful and funny and not bad looking. That his girlfriend will definitely bring less to the table because he is already so accomplished, yada yada.

It’s so easy to despise people who never take responsibility for anything that happens in their lives. I suppose I am a little deterministic but I really think that at least 9 out of any 10 tragedies that befall you are your own doing. People are just absolutely rubbish at realising/admitting that they are stupid, incompetent, racist, unattractive, socially inept, unadaptable, childish, or insecure.

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