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America’s Wealthy Join Forces to Taunt Homeless:

found on a new blog i follow called The Good Greatsby.
ironically i haven’t even read the original Fitzgerald (even though i wanted to). i might have watched it with my daughter but fallen asleep halfway (it was after lunch). I always fall asleep in movies i watch with her. I bought her the motorcycle diaries for her nth birthday and we watched it together in her house in which i fell asleep.

Am suddenly reminded of her because I am learning Chopin’s Ballad no. 3 now under my piano tutor and she played that for her A levels practicum because she was always more talented than me. Mike is going to totally disillusion me about my rendition of my ballad. In the past 7 weeks I have realized that I am a totally mediocre, unthoughtful, incoherent pianist. And I do not have the ability to analyse a piece accurately and express my analysis in my playing (I was going to say that I have lost the ability to analyse a piece for playing but let’s face it, I probably never had it.) After one performance of Beethoven’s sonata in D op. 10/3, I played Ave Maria/My Tribute in church (and my church performance is actually better now with lessons) and will be performing Bolcom’s Graceful Ghost Rag at the math department spring concert. It’s nice to be back in the swing of things. I thought having to practice everyday would be a huge pain (after I haven’t touched the piano seriously in about 2 years) but it is one of the few things that I genuinely look forward to.

I do think that I have somewhat lost my ability to feel the music. This one I definitely had at some point in the distant past. To feel the shape of lines and the voicing of chords, and to play them accurately. But Mike keeps reminding me that I’m not really engaging the pieces I’m playing, I’m just following his instructions to go soft, play loud, emphasize this, voice that, articulate this and that better, etc. without assimilating the intention behind his instructions. I am like the Pharisees who obeyed the law in principle but never really stopped to think why the law was given. I need to think more about the kind of atmosphere I want to convey, and anchor my playing to that, as opposed to anchoring my playing to his more technical comments.

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