Skunks

the skunks and various hibernating creatures all woke up yesterday and there were so many weird unearthly animals prowling across the road all day. justine and i saw what must be a beaver on the way home from groceries at night and liangze and i saw a skunk. the weather was warm on saturday and that must have woken them up, only for the skies to envelope ithaca in another blanket of snow. people say our weather is erratic and what kind of place still has snow in march? but i think it’s very dependable. just when you think winter is over it can be depended upon to utterly disillusion you.

so the skunks were all waddling about the roads very disconsolately, blinded by the bright white snow that Wasn’t Supposed To Be There! but well if they are born and bred in ithaca it shouldn’t be too surprising. just that it IS quite nasty to wake up in the cold. a flock of ducks flew back two weeks ago and were sitting around equally confusedly in the parking lot at wegmans, pecking at the ice. the entire ground near the canal was covered in ice, only a tiny FREEZING part of the canal was melted and 3 brave ducks were floating about there. the rest just plopped themselves on the road and looked like “this is what we came back for??!”

Lots of confused animals in ithaca now :P i like the word ‘confused’. it has a totally different translation in uncle english (english spoken by coffee shop uncles) : ‘cong-fused’. same as ‘cong-firm’. partly because the word ‘kon’ does not occur in chinese.. and is always followed by a ‘g’.

mrbrown wrote about complaining as a sport once:

At the entry level, athletes can complain about the easy and simple targets, like packed buses and ridiculous cost of car ownership in Singapore. But at the higher levels of the sport, you must show your ability to complain and nitpick about things that are generally fine, like why the cops took an extra five minutes to catch a criminal. Or why your S$2 bowl of noodles has one less slice of fish cake.

in the same way as you have entry level singlish, at the higher levels of this sport you can hone your uncle skills armed with the following vocab:
1) ‘fluhm’, as in, “lets go cinema see a fluhm! iron man 2, you got see anot?”
2) ‘grahps’, as in, “wah he talk really very cheem very difficult to grahps” a particular favourite of church uncles (who i get most of my examples from :P) wrt sermons. somehow 99% of uncles are challenged at putting the ‘s’ before the ‘p’.
3) ‘congfuse’, as in, “he explain until i very congfused you know, the more he say the more congfuse i am”
4) ‘pattern’, as in, “she cook always got a lot of pattern one- the carrot chop nice nice ar, the pineapple tart on top got tic tac toe one.. alot of pattern.”
5) ‘donnid’, as in, “harh? OT? donnid lah! jus go home when your boss leave can aready.”

some general rules
1) all the ‘ee’ sounds should become ‘i’s, as in, ‘bincurd’, ‘dill’ as in ‘i make a dill with him”, etc.
2) there are no adverbs. everything is either an adjective, or not an adjective. as in “they talk very loud!”
3) no complex consonants at the end of words, especially aspirated stops such as ‘t’ or ‘p’. the difference between ‘can’ and ‘can’t’ is that ‘can’ = ‘ken’ and ‘can’t’ = ‘cahn’, not ‘ken’ and ‘kent’ in the ang moh way.
4) plurals are nice but not necessary, as in “so many bag on the shelf you know, i donno how to choose.”

liangze and i always spik liddat for fun although sometime we fill gwilty for laughing at other people but usually don have.

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