Sorry I took part in this contest and made us miss our anniversary and valentines’ day. sorry i was stressed and snappy and crabby and gripy and incoherent and sleep deprived (ok, not really) but yeah.
We still had a nice dinner didn’t we? All things considered. Headed to kilpatrick’s pub after vowing not to think about the paper anymore and had a wonderful dinner with hr. i like how when we hang out with him, we’re all very good friends and we can be honest (and snarky) knowing that none of us would think the worse of anyone else and we can laugh at each other freely and that he doesn’t think it’s weird/lamp-posty to eat with -just- us because we certainly don’t. some days i prefer such camaraderie to romance. probably most days i prefer such camaraderie to romance. strange that valentines day should be one of those days but there you have it. i was never really one to keep up with the flow anyway.

i feel older and tireder (than i did before, if that is even possible), and somewhat.. too old for romantic things. not that i don’t appreciate them, he got me a beautiful bouquet of all my favourite flowers. lilies and freesias and irises and a rose for the one year we’ve been together. so i guess i’m not exactly “too old” (is it weird that now whenever i type quotation marks i intuitively type “” like in TeXnicCenter?), just old enough that romance has ceased to be all that thrilling or important. sticking together is important, but no more for the sake of sticking together. Sticking together is important because we’ve come to mean so much more to each other, come to depend on each other for literally everything. (which is not to say i wouldn’t be able to live alone, because i am not the sort of person who wouldn’t dump someone just because i don’t know how to be single anymore -_-) things have just sorta swum their way into a comfortable equilibrium, and i’m really glad for that.

Or maybe all that was just a ruse to disguise the fact that i am too lazy and not sweet enough to do anything for him for valentine’s day. haha.



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