I finished it.
It was the sort of movie that filled one with an ineffable sadness, one that cannot be experienced when you are with people. People stifle your emotions; in their presence you cannot and must not deal with raw hurts, and angers, and sadnesses – all feeling must be tempered.. halted, even, in the presence of strangers. And with naked feelings, everyone is a stranger. I laugh, but I must not laugh with you. I hurt, but I don’t want you to see me cry.
For those moments when you are not alone, you are at the same time derailed, derailed from your train of feeling. Derailed from the things you truly want to do, the emotions you truly want to feel, the huge sense of injustice you truly want to articulate, but all such wishes are subjugated, whether one realizes it or not.
How do you halt a feeling? How does one push a button inside himself and be happy? But that is the true measure of pride: how much you can detach yourself from your grief in order to preserve an impeccable, undaunted, impenetrable facade. The truly arrogant will never appear to be sad, not in front of anybody. The truly arrogant are the perpetually happy.
Where in the world, have you been hiding?