Most people write about ugliness on the inside, especially singaporeans returning home after studying overseas – the unreasonable behaviour of the nationals that stands in stark contrast to that of people overseas inspires many idealistic, bewildered blog posts. this however will be about external ugliness – a taboo, untalked about subject because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it is mean to tell someone else he is ugly and all that jazz.

from observation of various profile pictures on fb (because i am just that free and i don’t feel like doing my research yet), i condensed of a list of ways ugly people try to mask/tune down their ugliness in their profile pictures. (of course this is just an if-then statement, i.e. if one thinks he/she is ugly, then the following actions hold, not an if and only if statement, because it is not true that if the following actions hold, one is doing them for the purpose i have put out. in other words, if any of the following match what’s in yr pic DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE. they were derived from a complete stranger’s v. large collection of profile pictures)
1. photoshopping photos to become blurry or to have unnatural color/contrast levels so yr ugliness is blurred
2. taking photos with cute things/people/animals – puppies or babies, so that you will be cute by association
3. using baby pictures. most babies are cute (i disagree but the general public seems to think so, especially of themselves when they are young)
4. cropping out only certain parts of your face to be in the photo, such as yr eyes, or your mouth so that nobody can see how terrible the entire composition of yr face is. or using yr hair to mask yr face in a paul twohill-esque fashion.
5. using shots of your back. usually to evoke a pensive, nostalgic sort of atmosphere but I KNOW BETTER
6. contorting your face in some way so that people will attribute the awkwardness to your intentional distortions rather than your unintentional ugliness.
7. using pictures that are not of themselves. of which i am guilty.
8. girls in particular, have a penchant for taking photos with the exact same angled face because after staring at themselves for so long in the mirror, they have settled on an angle of their face they find most flattering and so contort their face to reach that angle in relation to the camera lens. it really reminds me of D.H. Lawrence’s Intimates

Don’t you care for my love? she said bitterly.

I handed her the mirror, and said:
Please address these questions to the proper person!
Please make all requests to head-quarters!
In all matters of emotional importance
please approach the supreme authority direct!–
So I handed her the mirror.

And she would have broken it over my head,
but she caught sight of her own reflection
and that held her spellbound for two seconds
while I fled.

9. using pictures of themselves surrounded by lots of loving looking friends so that even if they are ugly, at least they are popular.

don’t get it. ugly then ugly lah! why the need to be any different? i think everyone should embrace their ugliness. there are so many more important things to be (than good looking) anyway . besides if someone really loves you he’ll just have to take you, ugliness and all. you shouldn’t have to modify/obscure yourself for the conditional acceptance of someone else. people aren’t bleeding universities.



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