Unnecessary hype

think i’m getting sick. =.+
from eating junk? from late nights? probably the junk one. i discovered waitrose’s mini poppadoms and they’re not bad. also got their prawn crackers, a “Chinese style snack made from prawns” that i haven’t opened yet because once it’s open i’ll have to finish it and i couldn’t even finish the poppadoms. they’re not large or anything, it’s just me.

2009 is over, what have you done?
Stayed single the whole year?
yep. contrary to popular belief!

Were involved in something you’ll never forget?
trying to remember something i’ll never forget. nothing comes to mind!

Tripped over a coffee table?
nope. dorm room where got coffee table.

Dyed your hair?
nope. was thinking about it though.

Came close to losing your life?
nope.

Did you meet any new friends this year?
yeah. one? well, one that i remember anyhow lol.

Did you hate anyone?
yes.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
yes!

2009 – Your birthday
Did you have a cake?
haha no.

Did you have a party?
no. nothing at all, okay? i suppose i had hq’s refugee supplies package full of hello panda but that was the high point.

2009 – All about you
Did you change at all this year?
i don’t know. not that i can tell.

Did you change your style?
er.. no?

Were you in school?
yes. i think i went for more school this year than i ever did in my whole life. only missed one (one! can you believe it?) day when i was absolutely bed ridden.

Did you get good grades?
passable lah. can’t complain, given the amount of effort i put in.

Did you have a job?
yes! researcher and chimes master, intern, tutor.. that’s all i remember.

Did you drive?
nope. i got driven around though, that count? :)

Did you own a car?
nope.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope. not that i can remember anyway so they probably weren’t very close.

Did you go on any vacations?
hehe am on vacation right now!

Would you change anything about yourself now?
yeah. loads.

2009: wrap up
Was 2009 a good year?
not really. i think i wasted a lot of time fixating on something and literally had doubts and low self esteem (!!) which has never happened to me before! i don’t think it was a necessary experience either, i didn’t learn anything from it and merely got more jaded (if that’s even possible).

Do you think 2010 will top 2009?
i think so. am older, stronger, and soon to be legal to drink. haha.

In 2009 I confess that I..
Kissed in the snow?
haha who.

Had your heart broken?
yes.

Done something you’ve regretted?
yes (i.e. falling in love in the first place.)
some fools rave on happiness, blissfulness, togetherness,
some fools fool themselves i guess;
but they’re not fooling me.

Painted a picture?
no! the charcoal block i bought is still sitting pretty in my room and now it’s too cold out to draw.

Wrote a poem?
yes. that was pretty good.

Ran a mile?
no. ha! sucks to all those who still have napfa.

Visited a foreign country?
yeah. new years cease to have any meaning since it’s relative in time; i don’t pledge allegiance to british time, but it’s retarded to celebrate new year on singapore or US time in the UK, so i just didn’t bother and sensibly went to bed.

Cut in a line of waiting people?
nope.

Told someone you were busy when you weren’t?
hahaha. tis inevitable what, it’s me!

Cooked a disastrous meal?
not so bad as to merit disastrous but yeah i’ve had some low, undercooked points. i blame it on noob american ovens.

Lied about how old you were?
nope.

Broke a promise?
yeah. i showed up one hr late for trio practice once because i got the time wrong and felt just terrible about it afterward.

Lied?
yeah. when you asked me that strange question i didn’t know how to reply.

Disappointed someone close?
yes. (parents, obviously. i seldom disappoint my friends because my friends and i are in sync, much unlike my parents.)

Hid a secret?
yes! loads.

Pretended to be happy?
ha. probably 90% of the time in spring semester. i was actually happy in fall semester though. Je ne vais plus pleurer.

Slept under the stars?
yeah. stargazing twice, at some ungodly hour like 4am.

Kept your new year’s resolution?
nope. don’t bother with them anymore because there seem to be too many things to fix.

Kept your virginity?
lol. you say leh?

Met someone who changed your life?
yes. slightly.

Pretended to be sick?
no.

Had way too many days off school?
no. i wish! i miss jc :( and how everything was totally ponnable.

Lost something expensive?
not really. depends on how you mean by expensive. i did leave a part of me behind in buxton, specifically a black velvet glove. now i’ve got to get new ones :(. still, i suppose one pair a year isn’t that bad. i recall losing a purple suede glove last yr over winter break too what a creature of habit am i.

Learned something new about yourself?
not really. apart from the fact that i’m probably not as principled as i wish i were.

Tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it?
haha smoked salmon. it totally looks raw! i staunchly refused to eat it but xiumin hid it in the roll and it wasn’t so bad.

Found out who your true friends were?
pretty much. weeded one out, gained one, so i guess the score is even.

Stayed up til sunrise?
yeah. mcm anybody?

Cried over the silliest thing?
yeah.

Had friends who were drifting away from you?
i think so. but then again if they’re drifting away it just means there are less people i have to keep track of and care about haha. which is fine by me! you may mistake this as coldness and indifference and a huge lack of sentiment but if that’s what you think you probably don’t know the first thing about me at all and we shld keep it that way.

Had a high cell phone bill?
nope.

Spent most of your money on food?
it’s what’s needed for survival!

Had a fist fight?
nope.

Gotten sick?
yeah.

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?
hahaha actors, you mean? not real life people obviously that would be quite sick.

Became closer with a lot of people?
just one.
***
am i bored with life already? i don’t understand how people can get so excited over the slightest things.
and i don’t understand how the end of a year can make people all nostalgic and pensive over the passage of time. what about a year justifies all this emotionality? you don’t ruminate at the end of every day, or the end of every week. why does the fact that it’s a longer unit of time justify the melodrama or the fireworks? just because it’s longer doesn’t mean it’s any less pointless.

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