i was volunteering with syfc at playmax today. took my mind off things, a little. i was a security guard – cool stuff. i got to frighten people away with my neon yellow blazer and glare down clueless tourists who tried to enter from the exit. i don’t look like a person who volunteers to do this kind of thing, and a lot of people probably don’t know this about me since i’m so self-involved and indolent but when it comes to things or people i care about i will do things that are quite out of character. for example, being a youth worker before uni. or volunteering to be a security guard. it was for a worthy cause and i don’t regret it; couldn’t have spent my time better.

i bumped into one of my ex-music students at the event. she came up to me to ask for directions to the singapore flyer and then she was like.. “you look familiar.. aren’t you.. my music teacher?” and i told her i got downsized to a security guard because of the recession. also met some pple from rj bridge there, (the guy who inspired me to quit immediately haha he was like “how do you know my name!” and i laughed mysteriously) and also liangze! haven’t seen that dude in ages. he’s going to cornell! i told dave that i’m going to bring him to tab. we were both in the security team so we got to talking and apparently he’s doing math too, with one of my juniors from dsta who aren’t really juniors because.. they are older than me. i got 2 guys under me who are going to cornell, math and EE. oh, that’s another thing that’s really unlike me, but i actually really like taking care of juniors which was why i volunteered to take care of them. i’ve played the angel/mortal game in secondary school and in jc, and it would be totally cool to play it in university too. i’m still in contact with all my mortals (for some reason.. it shld theoretically fizzle out after like a week) – received a postcard from my jc mortal today from tiananmen sq! it was awesome (sorry, annoying american word) he’s backpacking through east china/mongolia now and was at tiananmen on 4th june! i was so excited to see the postcard. i mean i’ve been there just not on 4th june and definitely not the decade after the incident.

my mortal in rgs was mila. at least, she was the first one. i wrote to her faithfully and sent her lots of candy, and soon found myself with 5 mortals, as her friends decided to get in on the free candy and started writing to me :) sposed i was trained for correspondence back then, having to write to 5 different younger people at least once a week, being in touch with 5 different lives. of course i got my share of candy and even birthday/valentines’ day presents – they are all very sweet people. i’ve been trying to convince mila to do math at cornell under dsta but she decided on berkeley and a* bah. mr. quek was sighing to us about it on tues lol. liangze’s also under a* under their crypto dept so we can infoshare. guess he and mila will be working tgt next time! and he knows loads more than me cos he’s been there since feb.. whereas i’ve just started. and i can’t even code in C. he’s been working on elliptic curves, which is what i’ve been looking into recently. i met him in rj when we were trying to organise an evangelistic concert for the rj kiddos with gab’s christian band. i can’t remember when the concert finally was.. think it was in j2, and it was quite a hit. some of my classmates went to support their other friends and i was in the prayer team, i.e. backstage praying for the event. anyway i was real glad to see him still serving the Lord so faithfully, along with everyone else. serving with yfc is always an inspirational experience, seeing all these.. less young people expending so much of their energy and effort for such a worthwhile cause, and seeing the harvest being reaped. everytime i leave them i am scared that i will lose my ability to love other people in the amazing way that they do, that without their influence i will become another uncaring face in the crowd that does not have a godly impact on anybody. that i will just be. which is why i want to take care of all these kouhais i guess, because i can be of use to them. no matter how limited my experience, or how longwinded i am, they may benefit remotely because of me and that’s always a good thing. people don’t normally let you love them right off the bat. you’ve got to have a valid reason to be nice to them. and being their angel is the perfect reason for me to be loving to them without them getting any wrong impressions. they seem receptive enough. the math guy asked me how to get out of reading the book (grapes of wrath :O) and i gave him some feasible escape routes. cornell sends the freshmen a book every year so the whole class can read together and have discussions once they get to school and write an essay on the book with lovely insights on the text. i think it’s a great plan and all, just that no one should be inflicted with john steinbeck. honestly. i am willing to house refugees escaping from the book discussion, only that i will be back on campus rather late into orientation. must rmb to invite them up the clocktower. i’ll give them a private concert if they want it.

save tonight, fight the break of dawn,
come tomorrow, tomorrow i’ll be gone



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